(Written August 25, 2012)
I’ve now been home about ten days.
It’s amazing how life carried on while I was away! (haha) So I am quickly getting caught up in the busy-ness of Ontario life again. School starts in a week so I am getting ready for that. School fees for the new Kenyan school term need to be found and sent. Family responsibilities continue – Jon returns home (again!) in a week or two, Craig’s mom made the move to a retirement home the same day I arrived home… As I said, life carries on… And, of course, there is Craig’s delicious cooking, running water and the comforts of home to get used to again.
But the last few days have not been easy. I arrived home exhausted – and not just from jet lag. I had not been sleeping soundly for the last month or two and the fatigue caught up with me. So since I arrived home I have been in ‘slow motion’ – tiring easily and feeling overall ‘dopey’ (I know – how would anyone have noticed??!). Yes, I’ve had cross-cultural experiences before, so some of the usual ‘shell-shock’ that people may feel as they re-integrate into society here did not really come into play. I’ve had lots of time in the past to work through the ‘have / have not’ realities of life on this side of the world. So it was more than just that. I have come to a new conclusion:
As the only ‘mzungu’ in the area combined with the fact that I was there alone, living right alongside our Home of Grace friends, meant that I had a unique, immersion experience. That made it possible for me to learn and experience more than a long-term worker normally would and, for that privilege, I am so very grateful. But at the same time there was a certain price to be paid for that – constantly being ‘on’, having to choose my words carefully, trying hard to be a good guest and, generally, trying to fit into such a culturally different world – all of this has obviously combined and contributed to my fatigue. So, naturally, it will take time for me to settle back into life here. I’m just being impatient once again – it’s amazing how my North American desire to ‘get on with it’ has come back so quickly!
Every day gets easier. I’m now back at school. I’ve had a few good visits with my Dad – he did extremely well while I was away. (You may remember that was one of my biggest worries about being away for so long.) Things are busy as we quickly put the finishing touches on September 8th’s fundraiser (Home of Grace Fun Fair at Central Park in Burlington – hoping you can be there…?!)
And I’m finding ways to keep one foot in Kenya. Edina and I have returned to our routine of regular daily online conversations. As well I’ve phoned the children several times and Skype worked well this past Saturday. I’m even using ‘snail mail’ to write letters – we’ll see how the Kenyan postal service works. I’m keeping in touch with other friends in Kisii so that feels good. The last thing I wanted was to ‘turn the page’ and to let them think I would forget them.
So I am doing well. My perspective on things has certainly changed – and will likely continue to change for quite some time. (In fact, I think that’s what life is all about, don’t you?) I have planned the first few weeks of lessons at school – topic? Kenya, of course…!! If my new students learn nothing else this year they will certainly be able to locate Kenya on a world map!! And my new favourite expression is “in the big scheme of things…” (Yes – I’ll put a loonie into the Home of Grace ‘piggy bank’ each time I say it.)
It was great to be there, it is great to be home. These two pictures sort of sum of these feelings all up…..
I’ll continue to reflect on what I learned and the issues that arise by blogging from time to time. But especially, I will keep writing about the people at Home of Grace and King David School. I know from talking to many of you that they have become your friends as well as mine. I’ve spent many hours sorting through my pictures (and having fun with the ‘face recognition’ part of iPhoto!) Each photo has a story – a picture really is worth 1,000 words. I look forward to the opportunities ahead to share them and to give my Kenyan friends a voice here in Canada.
Thank you for journeying with me. I couldn’t have done it without you – and I wouldn’t have wanted to!
Until another time,
Cathy
