The end of September. I’ve been home about six weeks now.
Many people ask – How is it going? How am I adjusting to life here again? I have different answers – depending on the person and the day. You are lucky – I’ll give you them all….!
The short answer is “fine‘”. It’s great to be home with Craig and the guys after so long, great to be back into a Monday to Friday routine, great to eat the huge variety of food that is so readily available. Running water, toilet seats, paved roads and sidewalks – they are all bonus. So that is my quick answer.
The longer answer? “okay“. There are still a few things that are making it hard for me to settle. Sleep. I’m still not sleeping solidly through the night – I guess five months of light sleep has given my body a habit that is hard to shake. Taste. It seems that the antibiotic I took when I had that throat infection has given me a bit of a fungus infection that I just can’t get rid of. Even white wine doesn’t taste quite right (a tragedy in itself…!)
But the bigger and longer answer? “weary.” Some days I just get tired. Not the kind that could be cured with a good night’s sleep (unfortunately). The weariness instead that comes from being with people. (Present company excepted of course!) As a result I am finding that I need more down-time, thinking time and alone time than I ever remember.
People are exhausting – especially some (those of you reading this are of course not included in that group!) It’s not the people. It’s often just the topics of conversation. I just don’t have the patience for listening to people prattle on about what I too often consider to be the little things. Illness, childcare woes, fashion, the latest movies.
I know what you’re thinking – some of those are not ‘little things’. Exactly. That’s why it’s bothering me. My perspective and sense of what is important has changed – gone from one extreme to the other – and I’m waiting for it to swing back – at least a little. Never to what is was, but to at least get to that compromise position where I can handle issues in a better, kinder way. Until it does, I’m not always the best, most patient company – just ask Craig!!
My priorities and sense of what is important in life is definitely shifting. I feel like a Canadian by day but a secret Kenyan by night. I am struggling with juggling my Kisii life and my Burlington one. Each day I talk with Edina and receive emails from other friends from Kisii. While my life has changed, theirs certainly has not. They still face day to day challenges – financial ones, social ones, emotional ones.
(Just one example: the government teachers were on strike for four weeks, meaning that the children missed out on schooling. They returned Monday, but the children had to come back with extra fees so that additional teachers could be hired to tutor them in the material they missed. And of course there was no warning so that we could raise the extra money needed – it was a ‘bring it tomorrow or don’t come to class’ kind of thing. Oh Kenya….! And Oh Edina. More pressure and stress that she really doesn’t need.)
After being there for so long I have a better understanding of the difficulties that they face. I can’t simply sit back and say ‘oh, too bad’. I feel that after them opening their lives to me so willingly I want to continue to walk alongside them. So I am working to juggle both worlds. To stay in meaningful communication with them from here. And to be realistic about how I can be the best support. Eventually I’ll figure it out…
But as of yesterday I have another answer to the ‘how is it going’ question. “Great”. One of my prayers was that while I was at Home of Grace I could share some skills and ideas that would be of value to them long after I had gone. One, you may remember, was what we call in Canadian schools character education and I came up with “Be SMART” (Strong, Motivated, Appreciative, Respectful, Thoughtful). Well, yesterday Edina told me that she has been hired (yes, hired – as in – being paid!) to share this approach with five of the local government schools after school for an hour each day. WOW! She is so happy – but I am ecstatic, for so many reasons on so many levels.
So how am I doing today you ask? “I’m getting there…!”
Until the next time,
Cathy